Story of Logan Deckard

"Our only child, Logan, was born on May 19, 1995 via C-Section. I remember lying in operating room anxious to find out the gender and out came a boy. But again a woman’s intuition is always right because I always knew I was having a boy. Anyway after Dr. Sunkel announced “it’s a boy”, I asked Ray what do you want to name him? (We both had our favorite boy’s name. His was Cory and mine was Logan). After seeing what I just went through to give birth, Ray’s response to my question was “whatever you want”! .

Logan was such a happy, go lucky kid growing up. His level of compassion and empathy at such a young age amazed me. Our poodle, Toby, passed away when Logan was 4. We decided to have a special memorial service in the back yard for Toby and as his dad said a prayer, Logan began to cry and added a gift to Toby as we buried him. This compassion and caring for others continued to grow and carried on through his short life. Logan was extremely intelligent and for the most part, bored and not fully stimulated by his high school curriculum. He excelled in golf and was an extremely talented guitarist. He was so passionate about video games, his guitar and music. And we were so proud and loved listening to and watching him play. He also loved being at the lake where I grew up. We had a boat and would spend weekends on the lake at my parent’s pool or out on the lake tubing, fishing and swimming. He had so much fun and he took a lot of his friends with us. When he attended ISU, Logan’s world opened up intellectually and socially as he loved college life. He became a very active member of Pi Kappa Phi fraternity and worked part-time while in college at Jimmie John’s, while still maintaining his grades and making the dean’s list. The love and pride we felt for this human being was/is immeasurable. It was during his senior year at ISU that Logan found the love of his life, Courtney.

On 12/21/ 2016 and at the end of his first semester of Senior year, we had a family Christmas gathering at our house. Logan couldn’t make it because he was still on his work schedule at JJ’s. He was actually coming home 2 days later to spend Christmas with us. Logan FaceTimed us that night after he delivered sandwiches to Union hospital. He sat in their waiting room and was able to talk with family members and the two of us for about 20 minutes. I was the last one to say “we’ll see you on Friday, and I love you”. Little did i know this would be the last conversation we would ever have with Logan and the last time he would say “I love you”. Moments after hanging up with Logan, I had a very uneasy feeling but it passed and I forgot about it. That uneasy feeling was another signal with my intuition as his mom.

At around 9 pm, 40 minutes after we hung up from Logan, Union hospital called saying they had Logan and that he was in cardiac arrest and CPR was being performed on him. In total shock, we immediately drove the hour long trip to Terre Haute praying the entire way. We each had family members with us at the hospital, along with Courtney, to pray to God for a miracle that Logan survives. The trauma team provided care to save his life for the next 7 hours but sadly he didn’t make it. Logan passed away at around 4 am on 12/22/16. We had never felt such despair ever in any of our lives. It’s hard to describe the devastation, sorrow, and sadness we both felt that night losing our son. It’s so surreal and an out of body experience that no parent should ever go through. Moments after we lost our only son and child, Courtney tells us she’s pregnant. We were overjoyed and in despair all at the same time. Yes, Logan knew he was going to be a father but they were waiting to tell us at Christmas. We estimated that Logan collapsed in his car seat within a couple of minutes after we talked with him. Since he didn’t return back to Jimmie John’s, another JJ employee came looking for him and found him unresponsive. He immediately ran inside the hospital and alerted them about Logan. That was at least 30 minutes that Logan went without a heartbeat and oxygen. He was slowly dying alone. That must’ve been the moment I felt uneasy after hanging up the phone with him.

Courtney gave birth to their son, Liam, on July 21, 2017. He was born 7 months and within 5 minutes to the day we got the call that Logan had his cardiac arrest. God has always had a love for numbers and how those numbers/dates correspond and connect us. If you only knew all the numbers/dates in his life and how they coordinate to other events in our lives, you will see nothing is coincidental but part of God’s full plan for our lives on earth and in Heaven. A part of us died the moment we lost Logan and we will never get that back until we embrace and are together in Heaven soon. A day in Heaven lasts 1000 years in earth time so for our loved one, it’s like no time has passed.

I dream about Logan all of the time and on his 2nd year angelversary, 12/22/18, at 5 am, I woke up after someone whispered in my ear, loudly, “I love you”. I thought it was his dad but he was sound to sleep. And it was real…I’m not sure if Jesus whispered to me or He allowed Logan to say he loved me. But it’s those moments that keep hope alive that we will see him again. Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite verse from the Bible and it continues to give me hope and strength. Ray visits Logan’s resting place almost everyday but I’ve suffered from PTSD since Logan’s passing so it’s incredibly difficult for me to visit. But I do find the courage to go from time to time when he’s in need of new holiday decor.

We miss him. We love him. Logan’s 21 1/2 years on earth were short but his life was filled with love, family, experiences, friends, memories and music. But regrettably, he never met his wonderful son, who we do see as often as we can as he lives 3 hours away. We will ALWAYS wonder what Logan could’ve done to change

the world and make it a better place but God called him home instead.

Heartbroken for the rest of our lives."

Written by his mother Paige Deckard

(A note from Hannah below)

I would like to add that Paige has allowed me to share a few memories about Logan!

I met Logan in 2013/2014 time-frame during our freshman year of college at a social with Pi Kappa Phi (he had just joined), I had just joined Alpha Chi Omega. I honestly don't recall exactly how it was that we met, aside from that I know it had something to do with our die hard love for music. Specifically Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin. From then on out I always knew I could bet on Logan to hang out with at a Pi Kapp shindig and have in-depth conversations about how/why Jimi Hendrix was the best guitarist of all time. Logan had a heart of gold, an amazing sense of humor, and had a presence that could only bring comfort. Logan was one of a kind and I know many people that would say the same thing.

I will never forget finding out that he passed away, through a Facebook post, Jalen and I had been at a restaurant in FL when I found out. I had to step out because I broke down crying and was in complete shock, then realizing we wouldn't be able to make it to his funeral due to distance and time crunch. I was told it was absolutely beautiful and filled with everyone who loved him. Logan impacted many lives for the better, served to raise money/awareness for the Special Olympics, and could absolutely shred the guitar. In fact, I already know he's been shredding with Jimi Hendrix and teaching my boy a thing or two about how to play the guitar in Heaven.

Logan and Rush both passed away exactly 6 years and 1 day apart from each other. I want to say a huge "thank you!!" to Logan's mom, Paige. She has given me a lot of insight on how to navigate child loss and how to hold onto your faith. When you hold onto faith in this darkness, you will find light. Even if it's only a sliver, it will grow over time. Time brings healing.